Aunt Poodle... you are the cheese to my macaroni

There are some days where you wake up and you know that today is going to be a day that changes my life, today was one of those days. My first classes weren't monumental, but I could feel the tides a turning. When I returned to Pi Phi for the very coveted 2nd lunch I was dismayed to find that there was no Macaroni to go with my cottage cheese. I was very sad that Karma didn't make enough Mac n' cheese. When SJ arrived she also complained that Karma didn't make enough food for us. Aunt Poodle caught wind that there was dismay in the air and arrived in the kitchen (wearing the red cape). She decided that she needed to make mac n' cheese for us despite protest from everyone involved. We watched from the dining room as she whipped out a mixing bowl (yes a metal mixing bowl) filled it with water and put it on the gas stove. She boiled the water and added noodles and the butter. We watched with disbelief, I have never seen anyone cook pasta in a bowl before especially with butter. After getting the water to boil with the noodles and the butter in the bowl she disappeared for 15 minutes in search of a strainer. We just laughed then everyone bailed on me and left me at the table. While in search for the bermuda triangle/a clean strainer MD added more butter and milk hoping to rectify the disaster that was the mac n' cheese. Aunt Poodle then returned to the Big kitchen, we laughed and giggled as the other girls insisted that she would mess it up, but no I stood up for her because she repeatedly looked at the box, and for sure she can read, right?? Wrong. When she finally called us in to sample her creation, I almost died. It was a macaroni n' cheese swamp, unlike anything I had ever seen. JL questioned her skills as a cook and she insisted that the box said not to strain. Actually it says, and I quote "Drain. Do not rinse." I know I'm no Rachel Ray, but I have that one down. I choked some down because I felt bad, but it was essentially noodles floating in yellow water. Today was going to be alife changing day, and it was. I realized today that there are people who need those extra directions on that blue box, and not all Americans are apt to make America's favorite snack, and I have therefore started a new foundation and will be collectng donations, it is the Meridith Sayler Foundation for Fake Aunts that Don't Read Good. Call me with your Credit Card numbers.